Swallows and Airplanes

The warmth of the spring sun appears for moments at a time and then dims as lazy, fluffy clouds move across the sky. I stand soaking in the sun and reveling in the luke warm breeze. I gaze up into the blue and white sky, happily thinking thoughts of what is real versus what is not real. A swallow catches my attention with its sharp moves and aerodynamics. I watch for a moment, my history with this creature stirring in my subconscious and filling my soul with peace and happiness.

I remember a day shortly after my sister died when I sat on the banks of the Columbia River seeking peace. That day a solitary swallow appeared in my left peripheral flying down the river along the surface and as it passed in front of me tipped its wing to me like airplane pilots tip the wing of their airplane to say hello or goodbye. But the swallow’s message was more like shalom, a Hebrew word which is often used to say hello or goodbye but the deeper meaning is peace be with you. Whatever that dear swallow meant, I felt peace along the Columbia River’s edge. I felt in a deep part of my soul that my sister, though dead, was o.k. and I would be o.k. too.

But this spring day I simply felt the awe and peace I feel whenever I watch swallows, and I pondered what is real and what is not real. The swallow was definitely real. The swallow circled again and joined its companions in a perfectly executed display of aerodynamics. While I enjoyed their dynamic aerial dance, far above them a jet airplane made “tracks” in the sky. “Tracks” is what my children called Jet Streams when they were young. This jet was at the 40,000 foot level and large, probably a 747. The jet stream came off in beautiful white lines from at least 4 engines; a dramatic display of power, ingenuity and the ability of man to overcome gravity and conquer the skies.

My feelings for the airplane were mixed. On one side the awesome power and man’s ingenuity, on the other the false sense of security, the tragedies connected with airplanes, and the vague sinking feeling of airplanes being on the “not real” side of my recent thoughts about what is real and what is not real. I couldn’t quite place my feeling but it was connected to the realness of the swallow and my peace and happiness that I felt as I watched that little bird and the not realness of what I felt when I saw the airplane. Both the swallow and the airplane inspired awe and respect. Both the swallow and the airplane brought up deep feelings. But I felt peace and inspired by the swallow while I was left with mixed feelings about the airplane. I knew that I didn’t feel like one was all good and one was all bad. Swallows can be pesky as they nest in the eaves uninvited and can leave white excrement everywhere. But there was a distinct difference between the two that I couldn’t quite place.

What makes something real and makes something else not real? Why would I feel like a swallow was real and an airplane was not? If I could get close enough, I could touch both. If I had enough money I could fly in one and for free I could watch both fly. I know people deeply inspired by airplanes, similar to how I have been deeply inspired by swallows. So what was the difference? One of the main differences is that swallows have a living soul and airplanes do not. Another main difference is that swallows are deeply and undeviatingly focused on their missions in this life. They are born with instincts that help them to find food, mate, take care of young and live happily. Airplanes can be used for all the good or ill people choose to use them for, 9/11 being a horrifyingly dark reminder of the ill use of airplanes.

As I stood their in the warm spring sunlight one moment and the shade of a cloud the next, I felt deeply a desire to search after and surround myself with things that are real. I also felt cautioned to use carefully those things that are not real.