Nostalgia, according to the free online dictionary by Farlex is 1. A bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past. Or 2. The condition of being homesick; homesickness. I believe Nostalgia is one of my deepest, most common feelings. I remember as a child, crying whenever I heard a baby cry. Not because I was terribly empathetic, though I am, but because it symbolized some deep sadness in me, some deep longing for something in my past. There were times as a child that I felt that bittersweet longing just sitting on my bed in the early morning or out in the forest exploring or while staring at the blue sky.
As an adult I often feel Nostalgia as I read a good novel like Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy where the Russian culture and people speak to my soul or when I learn about a good or brave soul who has conquered great odds to fulfill their roles and missions in this life like Joan of Arc, Thomas Jefferson, Jane Austin, Abraham Lincoln, Louisa May Alcott, or Yitzak Rabin. I love exploring old towns, populated or not, old homesteads, old railways and old buildings. I love sitting next to old trees, older than 100 years old, and soaking in their ancientness. The energy of places that have witnessed years of peoples comings and goings, like seaports, stir feelings of Nostalgia in me.
Recently I inherited my Great-great-grandmothers old Singer sewing machine. The most recent patent pending on it is from the July 23, 1901. That makes it almost 110 years old! It is in great condition and so beautiful to me. It sits in my front room, where I am writing right now and I stare at it often. Just looking at it I feel connected to my grandmas who spent hours making, mending and creating with this sewing machine. My Great-Grandpa actually motorized it in the early 1900’s which adds another dimension of Nostalgia to my new treasure.
When I first received my grandma’s sewing machine, I studied a little about the lives of my great-great-grandma and her family. The more I learned about them the more I loved my sewing machine. I think I was surprised that the Nostalgia grew the more I knew about them. I feared that learning more about them would make me less Nostalgic, like a mystery solved that removes all the built up of imagined wonder and awe. But it was the opposite. It grew more valuable every time I learned more about them. It was as if through time and space my heart connected to my ancestors through this simple sewing machine.
I wonder if the Nostalgia that I feel so often, is a force leading me to discover dear ones that have gone on before, and knowledge that I need to fulfill my roles and missions, or simply a guide to helping me find joy. Whatever the case, that poignant feeling of longing continues to bless me, lead me, and remind me of what is really important. I pray it never leaves.
No comments:
Post a Comment